Injustice

Life never is and never has been fair

I ponder again, as I sit in this chair

Someone taking from this life so violently

We all walk around mindlessly

A child lies awake at night

Not sure what is right

He doesn’t know what went wrong

He just knows he doesn’t belong

A husband and wife start to fight

Unsure if everything will be alright

He lost his job and security

They feel so lost in obscurity

A lonely man walks down the street

Never looks up, but at his feet

People pass by and never notice

A life that’s lost and hopeless

A Soldier comes home from a war

Praying that his life would be restored

He has seen many things in his short life

It all remains in the midst of pain and strife

A rich man sits in his office chair

A life of riches full of despair

He thought money would make life right

It all needs to end, and it just might

Life never is and never has been fair

I ponder again as I sit in this chair

Someone taken from this life so violently

We all walk around aimlessly

Chris Enget 12 November 2010

A Life Lost

A life lost is never easy

A soul of a friend

That was here but briefly

A life lost will bring some tears

And hurt and pain

With so much to fear

A life lost that just slips on by

You feel regret

That you never said goodbye

A life lost hurts so bad

Stopped so short

As erased from this writing pad

A life lost is never easy

A soul of a friend

That was here but briefly

Chris Enget 11 November 2010

Pain

Will I ever get over this pain inside

It’s always there no matter where I hide

I try and try to push it back

It’s always there and it fights back

Where do I fit into life’s plans

Everything is held in my hands

This weight is too heavy

It’s all messed up in this frenzy

Will I ever get over this pain inside

It’s always there no matter where I hide

I try and try to push it back

It’s always there and it fights back

Here it comes yet again

I can feel it starting to begin

The clouds are starting to boil

From this inner turmoil

Will I ever get over this pain inside

It’s always there no matter where I hide

I try and try to push it back

It’s always there and it fights back

My thoughts are all in a fight

Not knowing, where is the light?

This is the beginning of an explosion

As I suppress these emotions

Will I ever get over this pain inside

It’s always there no matter where I hide

I try and try to push it back

It’s always there and it fights back

My emotions are all scattered

Like none of this even mattered

I don’t know where I am

I don’t know where to begin again

Chris Enget 11 November 2010

Sleep

As I lie here ready to weep

Trying my hardest to get to sleep

All the memories start to come back

Here comes the darkest black

I cannot believe that you are gone

It’s like you were just a pawn

Taken from this life

By the cut from this sharp knife

The dreams they keep coming

I feel myself succumbing

To this dark hole

Deep inside my soul

I do not want to fall asleep

I do not want to weep

I do not want to dream

Every time I do, I want to scream

The dreams make me hurt

I have tried to avert

And make them go away

I try and try and pray

They keep coming back

I’m always under attack

I want them to stop

I feel myself starting to drop

I’m falling farther in

Here is the beginning

I don’t know where I am

Inside is nothing but mayhem

It’s dark and lonely here

I just want to disappear

I don’t want to do this

As I start to reminisce

I don’t want to be down

Feeling like I’m going to drown

In these harsh feelings

And making these pleadings

I want it all to end

I want my heart just to mend

I don’t want to hurt anymore

I’m stuck inside this war

This war of life and death

It’s there with every breath

It’s never ending

And only the beginning

I’m falling asleep

Falling into the deep

It’s there, I’m almost gone

It has finally won.

Chris Enget 31 October 2010

October

HHMMM I'm trying to figure this blog thing out and I don't think its working to well. I'm sure I will be getting it soon.

I haven't been on here since July so I figured it was about time that I posted something. I finished the trainer course in Arkansas came home, two weeks later I went to the Minnesota to judge the National Honor Guard competition. That was a blast. There were 8 different states there competing to see who was the best in the Nation. NY came out on top with MN extremely close behind. These Soldier's at the competition really showed how far the National Guard has come when paying final tribute to a Soldier that has passed.

Last week I was in Helena, MT as an instructor for a 40 hour Honor Guard Course. The Soldier's in the class amazed me with how much they were able to take. This class was hard for anyone but to only have a week to learn it all and then test on it showed a level of dedication I have never seen before. Their motivation the whole time (to include at midnight while still working to make their uniforms perfect) was amazing. They went from either knowing nothing, or just a little bit, to performing firing party, casket bearers, and three Soldier flag folds almost to perfection! I attribute their success to the level of motivation they kept. I have been in the army for almost 6 years and have not seen motivation that high. It makes me feel great to be a part of these Soldiers life and hopefully have taught them something they can all take home with them.

And last but definitely not least for this post, I had a meeting with Major Anderson, my boss, and the NCOIC of the Honor Guard and have officially become the new State Master Trainer. This is an additional duty to my area coordinator job but just means that I track the whole State Honor Guard training. It is now my job to make sure all instructors are teaching their Soldier's to standard and to track all members that have been awarded the Honor Guard tab are fulfilling all of their requirements every year to maintain that tab. I am super excited with this new title and hopefully I will be able to a good job at it.

Well that ends it for this one, let's see if I can find the time to do this again sooner and not wait 3 months. =)

Busy

So the last several weeks have been pretty hectic to say the least. I have been working non stop and haven't even had much time to work out. On August 15th I fly out to Little Rock, AR for an Honor Guard Train the Trainer course put on by the Old Guard out of Arlington. I will complete my training there and be able to come home in the 28th of August. This course is designed to encourage the National Guard Honor Guard teams to acheive the same standard of perfection the Old Guard displays every day.

As far as work is concerned, just today I finally finished coordinating a Full Military Honors for a soldier in the MT Army National Guard that was killed by an EF3 tornado that ripped through Northeast MT (after several kinks came up mind you). His funeral is scheduled for Monday at 1300hrs (1pm) in Plentywood, MT. On top of that I have coordinated 11 funerals for just the next 5 days! If that doesn't let you know how busy I am, I guess I really can't explain it to you.

I got my first tattoo last Tuesday. It hurt like none other! but was sooo worth it. The artist is an amazing soldier with the infantry that is scheduled to deploy in the next couple months. It is a picture of a flag blowing in the breeze with a silhouette of a fallen soldier memorial. Next to the memorial is a soldier kneeling and praying while holding on to the dogtags that are on the memorial. I decided to get this as my tattoo for all my brothers that have every been killed fighting for this great country. Fighting for you and me. I have lost several friends in the military and several friends I went to school with that were in the military and it pains me when I realize that years down the road people will remember this war, but they will not remember the brave soldiers that fought and gave the ultimate sacrifice for this country. I decided to make myself a living walking memorial for those friends of mine I never want forgotten. If I can figure out how to post pics on here I will try to do that.

Well, last thing for tonight, My wife left last Tuesday for ST. Louis, MO for a National Partylite Convention. I have not got to talk to her very much and it's killing me. I am so scared when she travels because I never know whats going to happen and I cannot even fathom my life without her. She does seem to be liking it very much and has even got to play tourist a little while she is there. I cannot wait for her to get home, I've missed her so very much and know we will be snuggling for a long time afterwards.

Well, till next time....

Peace

Day 30

The last couple of days haven't been the greatest for me. I had drill this past weekend and worked out pretty hardcore on Saturday for our morning PT session, and on Sunday I was forced against my will by our wonderful government to get an H1N1 flu shot. I am not a fan of shots and the first time I ever got the flu was the first time I got a flu shot. I wasn't able to work out yesterday as I was starting to show signs of the flu and it feels like today is going to be the same. I'm still going to give it a shot but if it starts getting to rough I'm going to give up for the night and hope beyond all hope that tomorrow is better.

Today is our 30th day doing the P90X and I tell you what, It really does get easier to do the workout the longer you go. Now I'm not saying that it is an easier workout, but that your muscles start to recover faster and there is not near as much lactic acid built up in your muscles to make you sore. I haven't completed all my measurements so I will be posting those a little later tonight or maybe tomorrow. I did measure my biceps today while I was at work and I have gained ½ an inch on both of my biceps!! It is incredible how well this program works as long as you stick with it, eat right, and keep pushing play.

The First Post

Well, this is my first post on a blog website and I don't know how long it will last. I want to use my blog as a tool for the new business that I am starting up. I will try to keep everyone in the loop as to how the P90X workout is doing for me and whether or not I am acheiving the goals I have set for myself. Some of the goals are going to be very long term and some are short term. I have my wonderful wife helping me out along the way and doing the exercising with me and making sure that I don't give up, or quit for a day. Once you stop doing the work, even for ONE day, it makes it so much harder to start back up. Next Monday is going to be a rough one as it will be my first day with running two miles in the morning and doing the P90X workout in the evening. Let's all hope that I live to work out another day.